Restricting Freedoms:

• Tells you that you can not do something

• Jealous about who you see

• Monitors your time, makes you account for where you were

• Does not allow you to leave the house

• Makes it difficult for you to get a job

• Restricts your use of the car

• Tries to prevent you from contacting family

• Alienates you from family and friends

• Turns children against you

• Keeps you from getting medical care

• Withholds affection to punish you

• Tries to turn people against you

• Makes you account for all of the money that you spend

• Keeps you short of money

• Makes you ask for basic necessities

• Undermines your attempts to improve your education

• Undermines your attempts to get or keep a job

• Controls the money

• Makes you ask for money

• Refuses to give you money

• Makes all major decisions about money without consulting you

• Spends money only on things they wants

Threatens to:

• Turn people against you

• Leave the relationship

• See someone else

• Take children away from you

• Leave you short of money

• Come after you if you leave

• Have you committed to an institution

• Hurt or kill you and/or the children

• Hurt or kill himself/herself

• Blames you for their problems

• Drives the car in a frightening way

• Have someone else kill you, your family, your friends etc.

• Throws something at you

• Pushes, grabs or shoves you

• Pulls your hair

• Twists your arm

• Pins you to the wall, floor, bed

• Chokes you

• Kicks, hits or punches you

• Hits, or tries to hit you with something

• Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon

• Tries to run you down with the car

• Physically and/or sexually abuses the children

• Kills pets

• Deprives you of sleep

• Says things to spite or insult you in front of others

• Puts down your physical appearance

• Behaves as though you are stupid

• Criticizes your care of children/home

• Calls you names and swears at you

• Tells you you are crazy/irrational

• Accuses you of having an affair

• Ridicules family or friends

• Does not show concern for children's needs or concerns

• Gets angry when children cry or make demands

• Goes through personal things ie: purse, drawers, pockets

• Frightens children's friends so they stop coming over

• Withholds sex to punish you

• Pressures you to have sex

• Forces you to have sex against your will

• Pressures you to have sex after being abused

• Pressures or forces you into unwanted sex acts

• Treats you like a sex object

• Inflicts pain on you during sex

Shows this by:

• Changing their mood suddenly

• Giving you the silent treatment

• Demonstrating anger

• Shouting or yelling

• Pounding fist on table

• Hitting the wall

• Throwing or kicking something

• Stomping out of the room/house

• Demands obedience like you were a servant

• Makes decisions without your input

• Treats you like you were inferior

• Tells you that you can't cope without them

• Treats you like a child